On wants and responsibilities

"CB" (jrcb)
03/19/2019 at 00:17 • Filed to: Maturity I think

A personal rant inside.

I rushed into things without truly thinking about the situation and consequences. I realized last night that I couldn't take care of Archer on my own, since he'd be with me alone and not with my girlfriend. And I panicked. I barely slept and couldn't eat all day. So we made the call to return him to his foster family, who are going to adopt him. He is a good dog, I'm just not in the right place mentally and in my life for one. It's hard when you reach a point where you can do something, but it's not the responsible thing to do. I've learned that lesson tonight, and I'll carry it with me so I don't make that mistake again. I'll miss Archer, but he's going to a better home than what I could provide, and that's what's important to me.

DISCUSSION (29)

Chuckles > CB
03/19/2019 at 00:28

I know it's a tough thing to do, but you did the right thing.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > CB
03/19/2019 at 00:33

Oh, this hurts. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

But you were trying to do right by Archer, and that’s admirable. You can still love the little guy from afar.

LongbowMkII > CB
03/19/2019 at 00:34

That’s a smart choice. I’ve been overwhelmed by pets before as well, it’s not easy to admit or work through.

Longtime Lurker > CB
03/19/2019 at 00:36

It's better to realize this early on before he has a chance to bond you.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CB
03/19/2019 at 00:50

This is one of the darker buyer's remorse stories on here.

Future Heap Owner > CB
03/19/2019 at 01:00

Major props to you for putting Archer first and recognizing that what you want to do is not what you should do, recognizing it so quickly, and making the hard decision to give him back.

I’m sure it sucks pretty hard right now to be giving him back — it was amazing to me how quickly I had become attached to a dog my ex and I had for only four days — but this will be best for everyone in the long run. I’m sorry you went through this.

CB > NotUnlessRoundIsFunny
03/19/2019 at 01:15

Thank you. My girlfriend has offered to dogsit for his new owners,which they would love. It hurts, but it's the best thing to do.

CB > Future Heap Owner
03/19/2019 at 01:16

Thank you. It was the best call I could make. It's amazing how quickly you can make a bond with something.

CB > Chuckles
03/19/2019 at 01:16

Thank you.

CB > LongbowMkII
03/19/2019 at 01:17

Thanks. He was going to be a handful for me alone, and I wasn't ready.

CB > Longtime Lurker
03/19/2019 at 01:17

Thanks.

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/19/2019 at 01:17

And JKM once owned a VW!

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CB
03/19/2019 at 01:21

And BM2 owns an AssPat

Steve in Manhattan > CB
03/19/2019 at 02:19

It’s a sign of maturity that you realize when you’re in over your head. We have the two cats we have because we can be with them every day, and on the few days we’re out of town they will be cared for. We also have the means to pay vet bills, so there is that. You do what you can, and if you can’t do it, you make provisions so the dog gets what he needs. You did everything right.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > CB
03/19/2019 at 02:42

I admire you thinking generously about what’s good for Archer, even though it’s painful for you.

Because we have language, calendars, and longer lives, sometimes the generous thing is to make choices impossible to communicate to our critters. It’s heartbreaking for us, and they may not understand, but it sounds like you’re putting him in a good home where he will have love and attention.

I’m sorry for your pain, but good on you.

Svend > CB
03/19/2019 at 03:39

I’m so sorry, it’s for the best now.

But soon you’ll be ready.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > CB
03/19/2019 at 06:46

Awwww, sorry to hear buddy. He looks like a cutie, so it’s sad to hear he had to go. Kudos to you for taking a proper evaluation of things and doing the right thinf if you know in your heart you couldn’t tak e care of him.

Was it mostly because you would be gone a lot, or? Financial reasons?

shop-teacher > CB
03/19/2019 at 07:12

That does suck, but good on you for being a responsible adult, and putting the dog's needs above your wants.

diplodicus forgot his password > CB
03/19/2019 at 08:16

If it’s not too late to keep him I think you should give it a bit more time. For the first few months after I adopted my dog I was like what have I done. She was a totally untrained ball of energy and I’d never owned a dog before. And she followed me everywhere, like bust into the bathroom to watch me pee. I thought about taking her back a few times because I didn’t think I’d be able to handle her or have the energy to keep her happy. 3.5yrs later and we’ve both changed a lot and I don’t know what I’d do without her.

Don’t be too hard on yourself if you give him back though sounds like the fosters are good people.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > CB
03/19/2019 at 08:37

You made a good choice. We have two dogs, but they are Wifey’s dogs, not mine. I am involved in caring for them when my skills are useful, and I talk to them and play with them, but they’re her dogs. I cannot handle the emotional responsibility of owning a pet, for their dependency on me.

So I feel.

vicali > CB
03/19/2019 at 11:30

You know it’s the right choice because it hurts, and it sucks, but it’s the best for him.

One day in the future y ou will be ready, and you will know you’re ready.

CB > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars
03/19/2019 at 15:41

Thanks. And it's my work hours and being on my own that did it. I knew that it wouldn't be good for him or me.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > CB
03/19/2019 at 16:00

Probably a little early to suggest, but are you a cat person? They’re much happier being by themselves than a dog is while you’d be away at work ?

CB > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars
03/19/2019 at 23:38

I don't know, I don't think a pet right now is a good idea. I'll hold off for a few months before I even think about it again.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > CB
03/20/2019 at 06:50

No worries friend, just thinking of a way to get you some furry companionship that would be easier to fit into your schedule.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > CB
03/20/2019 at 12:19

I’m really sorry to hear that. It must have been heartbreaking for you.

It must be really tough being in Stoon and not having a support network close by, given that you’re from Toronto.

CB > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever
03/20/2019 at 12:36

Thank you. It is, but it’s the right call.

Thing is, I only live in Stoon 1/3rd of the time with my girlfriend. The rest of it I’m on my own out where I work. It’s hard right now especially since my girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment. So I'm going to make a solid breakfast and try to be some kind of productive today.

bob and john > CB
03/20/2019 at 13:27

uh oh, the silent treatment is never good

CB > bob and john
03/21/2019 at 02:57

It's probably going to last a few days.